My Gralphabet

Day Two of the Gratitude Challenge: Use the alphabet as a fun and quick format for making a list of things for which you feel grateful. Share this list through email, a blog post or a Facebook page.

A  The Artisanal Table - a new Pizzeria and Enoteca (Italian Wine Shop) in downtown Bellevue with truly wonderful pizzas and wines.  My new favorite place.

B  Billings - a fine place to grow up.  And filled with many, many friends who are coming alongside my parents as my dad recovers from a stroke.  I am so, so grateful.

C  California Baby Calming Shampoo and Bodywash - makes my darlings smell even more delicious.

D  Daughter - I am thrilled to be Mama to my sweet baby girl.

E  Elsa Peretti - thank you for designing such beautiful jewelry.  Every time I catch a glimpse of the lovely necklace my husband gave to me, I feel like a princess.

F  Foster School of Business - I experienced invigorating work, amazing colleagues and inspirational students during my eight years at UW.  Even now, many of my dearest friends share business school roots. 

G  Grace - God's unmerited favor.

H  Husband - 10 years of marriage to one handsome hunk.

I  In-laws - or "in-loves" as my mom says.  I love the people that marriage added to my family: father-in-law, mother-in-law, three sisters-in-law, and two brothers-in-law.  Dear to me, all.

J  Japan - my first and favorite international experience.

K  Kim - who inspired me to take this challenge. And who has been a bosom buddy for 15 years.

L  Lihue - "the Gateway to Kauai."  We flew into Lihue for our honeymoon 10 years ago and we'll fly into Lihue next spring to spend a week relaxing with some of our favorite friends.  Can't wait!

M  Motorcycle - the one I want to own someday.  Glad for the dream.

N  Nuclear family - both my childhood and my current.  I have lots of love for Papa, Mom and my brothers.  And I adore my hubby, my Jeeper and my CeCe.

O  Orange (but not oranges) - Orange is a long-time favorite color.  So bright and fun.

P  my Pals/Peeps/People - Super grateful for my friends.  If this list wasn't alphabetical you all would be at the top.  I love every one of you.

Q  Quilts - My mom just got excited when she read that.  But sadly for her, I wrote quilts, not quilting.  You see, my mom is a quilter and I love the beautiful works of art she makes for my family.  Maybe someday it will say quilting, Mom.  But not today.

R  Red Tano handbag - I'm grateful that it is beautifully crafted and just the perfect style and color, but my favorite part is that my husband picked it out for me when he was on a business trip in NYC.  Awww, what a guy!

S  Son - He is my angel.

T  Triple Thanks - Trader Joes.  TiVo.  Tea (lots of ice, no sweetener and a slice of lemon.)

U  U2 - thanks to my friend Wolm for the U2 intro and to my husband for the U2 enthusiasm and education over the years.

V  the View out my kitchen window - so green, cool and comforting.

W  Wedding in the UK - thank you Sonja and Dan for the opportunity to be part of such a warm and wonderful event!  It was the trip of a lifetime.

X  XoXo - kisses from my kiddos.

Y  Yoga - even though it has been way too long since I've practiced... it really changed my life when I did.

Z  Zoom, zoom, zoom - LOVE my Mazda.  So zippy, easy and fun.  I want the CX-9 next!  Whoops, that isn't gratitude.  Well, I AM grateful for my current Mazda even as I covet my next one.  Heh, heh, heh.

Gratitude Schmatitude

Since returning from Montana, I've been "down in the grumps." I called Bea and asked her to meet me at Frost Doughnuts thinking maybe a bacon maple bar would get out of my funk. We are going tomorrow so I'll let you know.  In the meantime I went to see my therapist and we discussed my dad's stroke, my mom's stress, my kid's whining and my disappointment over not being selected as a Verity Mom finalist.  Her recommendation?  Keep up with "self-care."  Umm, oooh-kay.  Easier said than done when you are a busy mom of little ones.  Does a really delicious gourmet doughnut count?  

So, I made plans for my husband and in-laws to give me some time off this weekend, found a babysitter for a grown-ups only dinner on Sunday and scheduled a massage for a week from now.  Still felt grumpy.  Called Moe, our angelic mother's helper and she came over and played with the little ones for a while.  She even picked up all the toys while she was here.  I was beginning to feel a little better.  Met my husband at the door and told him HE was taking the kids to dinner.  Hmm... this self-care business just might work!  I feel less grumpy already.  

A bowl of cold cereal and a half-hour of peace and quiet later, I found the final piece in my grump-banishment plan.  The Tiny Prints Gratitude Challenge.  I learned about it from my friend Kim, over at gratitude365.  She had already started the 21-day challenge and I felt encouraged when I read her posts.  And not only because I am included on one of her gratitude lists.  So I'm going to do it.  And today is my day #1.  The assignment for the first day is to write about why I accepted this challenge and what I hope to achieve.

I accepted this challenge because most of my thoughts today are about why I am NOT grateful:  There are dirty dishes in the sink.  A friend's father passed away yesterday after a long fight with cancer.  The kids broke our laptop this morning.  I could go ON and ON.  But it isn't helping to make a list of what stinks.  I need to shift my perspective.  I know there are hundreds of things that I can celebrate right now, even though it feels like an effort to come up with a list.  Thankfully, I don't need to make a list until tomorrow's assignment!  And what I hope to achieve is the strength to choose grateful.  Maybe not every single time, but more of the time and even when times are rough. I know the benefits will be worth the challenge.

Airplane Carry-on: Then and Now

Before I was a mom, my carry-on would include:
Emoillient lip balm
Hydrating face mist
Extra-moisturizing hand lotion
Nail clippers (for the rare hang-nail that might disturb)
Lavender-scented buckwheat neck pillow
Eye mask (on long flights)
Ear plugs
My own (sanitary & comfortable) headset
Fully charged laptop for working and playing Solitaire
Handful of my favorite magazines purchased in the terminal
Printed copies of trip paperwork in folder
1-2 Luna bars
Mentos (the freshmaker)
Sparkling water or iced tea purchased right before boarding plane

Traveling with my children, my carry-on includes:
Umbrella stroller (gate-checked)

"Cozy blankie" (my daughter's huge fuzzy blanket)

LOTS of diapers

Wipes

Changing pad
Plastic bags for soiled diapers
Two complete changes of clothes for each kid (don't forget socks)

Nursing cover

Diaper ointment
Teething tablets and cream

Small bottle of infant Tylenol

Bibs

Binkies (5 would be ideal)

Empty water bottle & sippy cup for filling with water in terminal

Many small baggies of snacks for kids
Inexpensive paperback books that I'm okay with losing

An endless array of small "disposable" toys

Post-it notes (can entertain a toddler for a LONG time)
iPod with many preschool-age videos loaded in advance
Old over-the-head earphones (for child who doesn't like iPod ones)

A few more kid snacks

Chapstick, any chapstick (please tell me I threw one in here!)

Multi-tasking Mama

Tonight, I ever so carefully super-glued a toy airplane to myself.  Which is shocking because I was giving the task my complete and undivided attention.  Well, okay.  Dinner was cooking, CeCe was wildly yanking dishes from the cupboard at my feet and Jeeper was standing next to me asking rapid-fire questions.  And I didn't really plan to fix the toy tonight.  It had been sitting on the kitchen counter for nearly a year and all of a sudden tonight I felt convinced that I had to fix it right now.  And I DID fix it.  But I also glued it to my thumb.  And then I panicked because I couldn't remember what to do.  Dish soap and hot water?  Nope.  A good yank?  Ow!  No way.  Fortunately, my husband walked through the door right then.  And of course he knew.  Finger nail polish remover.  Phew.  So, other than a little pale blue paint residue, I'm good as new again.  But the whole  adventure did remind me to slow down a little.  And to save any super-glue projects until after the kids have gone to bed.

Terrible, Horrible, No Good, Very Bad Day

In addition to all my tension, worry, stress and upset because my dad is in the hospital recovering from a stroke (almost 1000 miles away), yesterday was stinky because:

Jeep broke a beautiful little dish that I brought back from Japan over ten years ago.

CeCe "the Destroyer" found (by getting past the kid-lock on the bathroom cupboard) and ruined my favorite lipstick. Lipstick under tiny fingernails is OH SO fun to clean up!

My mom (understandably) had a huge emotional breakdown.

Mother Nature brought me a "gift." (Let's pretend I didn't just write that.)

More great moms applied to be the Verity Mom. Including a professional blogger. She probably has a clean house and nice handwriting too. Grrr.

My husband got a speeding ticket. Okay, that was actually a couple of days ago, but I was still really mad about it yesterday.

Jeep whined. CeCe fussed.

And some other stuff. That I can't think of today. But it sure seemed like a really bad day. Except for the moments when it didn't. Like when we took a walk as a family to the local park. And during the phone calls from dear friends who wanted me to know they love me and are thinking of me and my family. And when my husband put the kids to bed so I could go to the gym. And when I was eating the brownie sundae I made when I got home.

So maybe it wasn't exactly a terrible, horrible, no good, very bad day. But I hope today is better.

I Don't Like This Sandwich

In the middle of this weekend's usual events -- dishes, bedtime routines, a trip to the store -- and extraordinary events -- homemade raspberry pancakes, our 10th wedding anniversary, an afternoon to myself -- I received a call that my dad had been admitted to the hospital and appears to have had a stroke.  Diaper changes and meal preparations were suddenly interrupted by frequent phone calls, sobbing fits and internet searches for flight schedules to Montana.  His condition is stable enough that the testing that will give insight into what happened has to wait for the holiday to pass.  So I am on hold.  And in limbo. Sandwiched between worrying about my dad and working with my kids.  I pick up CeCe's stack of blocks and at the same time I fall apart at the thought of my dad struggling to communicate.  My dad!  One of the most talkative, verbal and opinionated people I know.  I sit and sound out words with Jeep and I get a lump in my throat because, in his current state, my dad can't remember how to read.  My dad!  The one who taught me to love reading with his example of devouring book, after book, after book.

As a parent myself, I don't have the freedom to give my dad all the attention I want to give him.  I want to be on a plane yesterday.  I want to be at the hospital asking questions, holding his hand and making sure my mom gets time off to rest and eat.  But who will look after our kids while I take care of my dad?  Do I take one or both or none with me?  What favors do we call in from friends and neighbors and when?  How can we choose between the plane tickets and preschool tuition?  How do we make responsible financial decisions for our family -- our whole family?  There isn't a guidebook or one clear black and white answer right now.  And so I pray for the strength to make the best decision I can -- for my kids, my husband, my self, and especially for my dad.

Smells Like A Budget In Here

This post was written as part of my application to be the Verity Mom for Verity Credit Union so it also appears online at www.veritymom.com.

Before I stopped "working for money" (my previous career) to "work for love" (become a stay-at-home-mom,) I saved a little chunk of change for use in case of emergency as we transitioned to living on one salary. Every month I would find myself writing a check from savings to cover any number of "emergencies"-- from date nights (cheaper than marriage counseling, I told myself) to new shoes (on SALE) and car repairs (okay, that truly is an emergency.) And yet I was surprised when I realized the fund was nearly depleted. How did that happen?! Wouldn't I have noticed the rapid decline? Well… the truth is, I didn't. Two young kids kept both my husband and me very busy and our finances were not getting the attention they deserved. We had made a few spending changes and I was proud that we weren't using our credit cards, but for the most part we were living like we did when we both drew a salary.

After a brief period of panic and worry, I reminded myself that living within our means is a choice. I knuckled down and went carefully over our fixed expenses and bank records and made a budget. Candidly, it was EYE-OPENING! We are fortunate to have enough money coming in to cover our daily needs, but we don't have a lot of wiggle room. A couple of expensive dinners out, a few thoughtless purchases and one of those ever-present unanticipated expenses and wham-o, we are over budget! No wonder the emergency fund evaporated.

Now we pay fixed expenses with our online banking and liquid expenses with cash that comes out of an old-school envelope system. In our family are certainly still learning how to use our budget muscles -- we've been out of shape for a while. It isn't easy, but the challenge is balanced with a great feeling of satisfaction. I know I am making good choices for my family and our future which brings me more pleasure than the convenience purchases I was making before.

Today, instead of buying a treat from a Starbucks drive-thru (a too-busy mom's snack salvation), we are having fresh baked cookies. The grocery store had Marie Callender's Chocolate Chip Cookie mix on sale for $1.79 so even when I add butter and eggs, I'm getting a dozen cookies for less than I would have spent on two cookies a few months ago. And a mix is still manageable for a too-busy mom. It isn't true every minute, but right now, living on a budget smells pretty sweet.

Two Inches of Independence

Jeeper and I had a quick date yesterday afternoon -- right before his dad and I went on a date for our ninth wedding anniversary. My special time with Jeep was simply a run to our local Fred Meyer for a step stool for our bathroom. We already have a step stool in the bathroom, but one of those little white IKEA ones. When Jeeper stands on it, if he stretches really hard, he can sometimes turn on the hot water. Which means, many times a day, he needs a grown up to help him wash his hands. So after what feels like a million trips to the bathroom, I finally got the brilliant idea to look for a slightly taller step stool.

At the store, Jeep chose a red, folding, "as-seen-on-tv" step stool and he proudly carried it most of the way to the checkout. And I will tell you, those extra two inches have bought us both a whole new world of independence. Now Jeep is able and free to turn on the hot and cold water as well as turn it off. All by himself. So I am free and able not to be there. I love you, sweet independence! At least for today.

Piggy Bank

For the most part, Jeeper is good at recognizing boundaries. Sure, he negotiates daily and he pushes hard for what he wants when he wants it, but he isn't one of those kids who snatches the decorative items off your mother-in-law's coffee table and he knows to ask for a grown-up's hand before stepping into a parking lot. So he caught me off guard a few months back when he put coins into the CD-player in my car stereo.

He was "playing car" in my car in the garage -- sitting in the parked car (no keys anywhere near for those of you who are questioning my parenting skills) and pretending to drive it. We had gone over the rules a number of times before: no turning on the headlights, honking the horn or playing with the CD-player. Other than that, he could turn the radio dials, flip the windshield wiper lever up and down, push on the hazard light button and imagine he was speeding down the road all he wanted.

As you can imagine, the coins in the CD drive have rendered that part of the stereo inoperable. And neither my husband nor the dealer can get the coins out. Which means that I'll have to replace the stereo system if I want to play CDs ever again. And although I've thought about tapping some of the funds in JP's "Savings" or "Taxes" accounts, for now, I'm opting to rely on the radio. And I must admit I'm enjoying the one small perk of JP's coin adventure -- no children's music! Since all of his music was on CDs, when he demands "kid music" I can calmly remind him that the CD player doesn't work. And when I ask him why, he remorsefully replies, "Because I put money in it." Well, son, how about some good old rock and roll instead?!

Lovesick

Loathers of mush, beware! Excessive adoration below:

I am crazy, madly, punch drunk, head over heels, wildly in love with my kids! Sure, I've got postpartum hormones contributing to the teary-eyed, lump-in-my-throat, shout-from-the-rooftops profession of adoration, but the love is real.


CeCe melts my heart with her little baby sweetness. Her tiny perfect fingers and toes, her fragrant head and soft hair, and how overall she is delicate, soft and warm. I love holding her, cuddling her, changing her, nursing her, rocking her, and just looking at her.

Jeep is my amazing toddler. I am in awe of how he changes daily and delighted with the way he communicates, negotiates and reasons. I think he is undeniably handsome and loads of fun and he is still my cuddle-bug and a perfect combo of ornery and angel.

I'll probably need to come back and read this post after a future power-struggle, tantrum or sassy defiance. But even in the face of parenting's challenges, while the mushy thoughts may fade for a moment, loving these two is the easiest thing I've ever done.

Welcome

Welcome... to any reader who stumbles onto this long-dark blog.

Welcome back... to myself and to writing.

But mostly, welcome to the sweet baby girl born to our family last week!



Here in this "Seattle Sun" space you will be called CeCe - a nickname I chose for you when you were wiggling inside. You are loved and adored by your Daddy, your Mama, your big brother Jeep, and many, many other family members and friends.

A Boy's Blessing

This was originally posted on Blog Mamas on August 18th, 2007.

One evening many months back, when Jeep was younger and more often waking multiple times a night, in a sleep-deprived haze I thumbed through a book of devotions and found a prayer that I have prayed with my son every night since:

Dear God, shelter us under your wings of love. Grant us a peaceful night and a restful sleep.

After the above phrases, I rattle off a list of "God blesses" starting with Daddy, Mama and Jeep. After the three of us, the nightly list would vary widely from every grandparent, aunt, uncle and cousin, to all of Jeep's classmates and the neighborhood pets. A couple of months ago, Jeeper surprised me by interupting me after the word "sleep" and reciting "God bess Daddy, God bess Mama and God bess Jeepee." So sweet. He has been in charge of the "God blesses" ever since! It has been fun to observe nightly who he selects to bless. Daddy and I almost always make the list, but beyond that it may include that day's favorite teacher, one of his stuffed animals or a neighborhood pal.

Last weekend, a good friend was visiting from Oregon and she was sitting on the living room floor with me and Jeep when I told him it was time for his nap. He sunk into my arms and began chanting "God bess Daddy..." I laughed because we don't usually say prayers for naptime but it was funny that he related it to being about to get into bed. Then he said, "God bess Mama," and paused before he pointed to my girlfriend and pronounced, "God bess dat one."

Happy Hill, Golf Guys & Bubble Bub

A few days ago we took a four day road trip vacation with Jeeper's Grandma and Grandpa. I learned a few things, good and bad, about car travels with a toddler. Next time we take Jeep on vacation I plan to be a little more careful about coordinating travel and naptime, for example. But I had to share these three highlights of the long weekend:

After Jeep started getting restless at a restaurant, he and Daddy wandered outside and found a little hill and Jeeper went crazy rolling down. I couldn't believe how many times he would roll down and then pop back up, run up the hill and do it again. He laughed and laughed. Such a typical childlike thing to do. Who hasn't rolled down a hill? It was a rite of passage -- a very fun one!

Daddy, Grandpa and Bub played a little putting course the next morning and the Jeeper held on through 12 holes. He concentrated really hard, was super sweaty after they finished and kept repeating his dad's coaching for days: "Back, through!" It was amazing to see him play so hard with the big guys.



Our boy, bubbles and a beautiful view.

Rock Star

We've were hit hard with the January flu bugs at our house. I got up one day after a morning of throwing up and sleeping to find my hubby sitting in my floral "mama-chair" glider holding a sleeping Jeeper who had been incredibly fussy without his mama around. Daddy had been holding and rocking Jeep for over two hours because it was the only way the little guy would sleep. It melted my heart and filled me with gratitude for a spouse who is such loving father.

Seeing Red

Jeeper tripped on the floor yesterday (admit it, you've done that before too), fell right on his face and got a bloody nose. I was in the shower so his daddy did the comforting and clean up. Fortunately he was fine a few moments later but I was a little traumatized since this was his first truly bloody "ouch." I imagine there will be more in the future since he's an active and energetic little boy. However, first bloodshed feels like some kind of mothering milestone.

A Dream Come True

I have great news to report: The sippy cup of my dreams exists!!! The Nalgene Grip-N-Gulp (NGG) is everything that I had hoped and imagined a few months ago. I love the description of the bottle on the company's official website:

"We’ve taken on Everest. Now we’re ready for toddlers! Nalgene containers have stood up to some of the worlds most extreme conditions. Small potatoes compared to small children. The new Nalgene Grip'n Gulp™ is tough enough to survive being thrown from a moving minivan, spill proof enough to compel parents to blame the rug stains on the dog, and odor proof enough to allow leftover milk to go undetected under the couch for months. Most importantly, its a great way for little kids to reach new heights."

The first time I spotted the NGG it was in the cupholder of an SUV parked at Jeeper's school. A few weeks later we were brunching with friends and they gave one to Jeep to use for slurping his apple juice. I made an admiring comment and they told us we could take it home (it was no longer needed since their youngest is a very mature six year old who is so over sippy cups). After my brief but delightful experience with this hand-me-down version, which proved to be all that Nalgene advertises, I ordered one for practically every toddler I know. I recommend you do the same. (The best price I found was the SALE price at http://www.campbound.com/.) Happy sipping!

77 Names

Angel
Angel Cakes
Baby
Baby Bug
Baby Cakes
Big Boy
Boy
Bub
Bubba
Buddy
Bugger
Buster
Buster Brown
Cowboy
Cute Heart
Cutest
Cutest Heart
Cutie
Daddy's Boy
Darling
Dear
Dear One
Diddle Diddle Dumplin'
Farmer John
Frere Jacques
Honey
Honey Bunch
Jack
Jaguar Prince
Jeep
Jeeper
Jo Pat
Johann
John
John Patrick
Johnny P
Jota Pe
JP
Juan Patricio
Little Buddy
Little Bugger
Little Fella
Little Guy
Little Man
Little One
Little Sweetie
Love
Love Bug
Love Bunch
Love Munch
Lovekin
Lovey
Mama's Boy
Monkey
Muffin
My Son John
Ornery
Peanut
Pride ‘O Me Loins
Pumpkin
Snuggle Bug
Son
Squirt
Sunshine
Sweet Angel
Sweet Boy
Sweet Cheeks
Sweet Heart
Sweet Pea
Sweetest
Sweetest Angel
Sweetest Boy
Sweetest Heart
Sweetest Pea
Sweetie
Sweetie Pie
Tiger

Power Struggle

I recently called BlogMama to propose a topic for her personal blog gratitude365… electricity.

Probably not at the top of your thanksgiving list, but I know over one million people here in the Pacific Northwest have a newfound appreciation for the juice that fuels our overhead lights, garage door openers and furnaces (and a whole slew of other luxuries). While many homes in the greater Seattle area had power restored one, two or three days after the wild wind storm the night of December 14th, we were among the unfortunate few who waited eight days in the dark and cold. Okay, we didn't exactly wait all eight days - the last two nights we stayed in a hotel, but even during those two days the trips home to pick up necessities were chilly and dim.

Living without power has many similarities to camping so the first day or two it was almost fun. During our "camping adventure" we relied heavily on our small woodstove. We used it for heat (the uneven temperatures were frustrating at times), for cooking necessities such as grilled cheese sandwiches and cowboy coffee (water and grounds thrown together into a saucepan and heated to almost boiling), and for entertainment ("Dancing Flames: the Mini-series").

But while I imagined I was Laura Ingalls-Wilder at first, I quickly tired of hauling wood and stoking fires. Those oh-so-important daily toddler routines became impossible and Jeep's moods swung wildly. We tried to be grateful knowing there are so many tougher challenges in life, but patience ran thin all around. The hard-to-penetrate-darkness was the hardest blow for me personally and I felt completely exhausted by 7:30 or 8:00 each night.

This brief challenge brought great respect for pioneers and people who suffer through disasters with losses much greater than the food in a fridge. I am ever so slightly more aware of what is truly important in life (the answer is people, not clean laundry - although clean laundry is very, very nice) and also a tiny bit more aware of all that we take for granted in our easy, electric lives. That being said, the moment the electricity came back on I ran around the house, flipped on every light, turned on the TV, played the radio, cranked up the heat, started the laundry and ran the dishwasher. Ah, the power of power!

Cry Baby

I've always been someone who cried easily. I am the target audience for those sappy Hallmark commercials and I've shed a tear in almost every movie I've ever watched. But as a mother I find myself crying in a whole host of new situations. When Jeeper was six weeks old I tried to go grocery shopping but he pitched a huge fit at the store. No matter what I did (rock, shush, bounce, swaddle, sling or even nurse) he wouldn't stop crying and I finally started to cry too - right there in the Safeway floral department. Fortunately it was a quiet weekday so there was no one around. We eventually calmed down and left the store without much notice.

This morning we hit sluggish traffic due to an accident and Jeep got frustrated and started wailing. He was frustrated, mad, and sad all at once and he let me know it. I sang songs, told stories, offered crackers, opened the windows, reasoned, cajoled, pointed out garbage trucks and then started to cry myself. A mama has an instinct to soothe her baby's cry and car seats, traffic, and office hours don't always cooperate with that urge. Once Jeep got to school he settled down within a matter of minutes, but I felt spent all morning. I guess I'm the crybaby!

Green Nails

As more and more of my friends, neighbors, colleagues and associates announce that they are happily expecting, I've been been reflecting on being pregnant. I've decided that my pregnancy was a hike in the gently rolling hills while motherhood is a rock-climbing adventure. In my very-average pregnancy I experienced physical, mental, emotional and spiritual changes that were life-altering, but they happened more gradually than the changes motherhood throws my way.

It is true that pregnancy offers many uncontrollable aspects (Is it a boy or girl? When and how will I go into labor?) but the baby on the inside was a little easier to control than the baby on the outside. Not that Jeep is harder or easier than your average 17 month year old. But when he was inside, even though I couldn't make him eat or sleep or play happily by himself "for a couple of minutes so Mama can go to the bathroom," it didn't really matter because he was inside and I could usually manage to eat or sleep or go to the bathroom in peace. Of course I knew that once my baby arrived I wouldn't be able to eat or sleep or use the bathroom the same way I did before. But having a child has changed the way I do those things as well as every single other thing in my life. And at the same time that I'm trying to operate my life in a whole new way, I'm in an intense relationship with a fascinating person who changes even more quickly than I do - my son.

Today when I picked Jeeper up from his Montessori school, I noticed that he had splotches of green on his hands and under his fingernails. I got a lump in my throat because that green paint residue was a quick and clear reminder that he isn't a baby anymore. He walks and runs and talks on the phone and plays jokes and operates the velcro on his shoes and expresses himself creatively with art supplies. Sure he still wears diapers, nurses and cries sometimes, but make no mistake, he is rappelling his way right into kid-town. And I'm just along for the wonderful and wild ride.