Ere I Forget All the Joy

Day Three of the Gratitude Challenge: Write about something you feel grateful for in your life today.

I'm home from a wonderful dinner out and trying to quickly finish my gratitude update and get into bed. Today I am grateful for:

my husband
his parents
our wonderful babysitter
red wine, steak salad and creme brulee (yum!)

I've been humming a song all day and it feels like the soundtrack for this post. It is a folk song that I learned from my dad called "Today" that was originally sung by The New Christy Minstrels. The words seem perfect for this assignment:

"Today while the blossoms still cling to the vine
I'll taste your strawberries, I'll drink your sweet wine
A million tomorrows shall all pass away
Ere I forget all the joy that is mine today."

My Gralphabet

Day Two of the Gratitude Challenge: Use the alphabet as a fun and quick format for making a list of things for which you feel grateful. Share this list through email, a blog post or a Facebook page.

A  The Artisanal Table - a new Pizzeria and Enoteca (Italian Wine Shop) in downtown Bellevue with truly wonderful pizzas and wines.  My new favorite place.

B  Billings - a fine place to grow up.  And filled with many, many friends who are coming alongside my parents as my dad recovers from a stroke.  I am so, so grateful.

C  California Baby Calming Shampoo and Bodywash - makes my darlings smell even more delicious.

D  Daughter - I am thrilled to be Mama to my sweet baby girl.

E  Elsa Peretti - thank you for designing such beautiful jewelry.  Every time I catch a glimpse of the lovely necklace my husband gave to me, I feel like a princess.

F  Foster School of Business - I experienced invigorating work, amazing colleagues and inspirational students during my eight years at UW.  Even now, many of my dearest friends share business school roots. 

G  Grace - God's unmerited favor.

H  Husband - 10 years of marriage to one handsome hunk.

I  In-laws - or "in-loves" as my mom says.  I love the people that marriage added to my family: father-in-law, mother-in-law, three sisters-in-law, and two brothers-in-law.  Dear to me, all.

J  Japan - my first and favorite international experience.

K  Kim - who inspired me to take this challenge. And who has been a bosom buddy for 15 years.

L  Lihue - "the Gateway to Kauai."  We flew into Lihue for our honeymoon 10 years ago and we'll fly into Lihue next spring to spend a week relaxing with some of our favorite friends.  Can't wait!

M  Motorcycle - the one I want to own someday.  Glad for the dream.

N  Nuclear family - both my childhood and my current.  I have lots of love for Papa, Mom and my brothers.  And I adore my hubby, my Jeeper and my CeCe.

O  Orange (but not oranges) - Orange is a long-time favorite color.  So bright and fun.

P  my Pals/Peeps/People - Super grateful for my friends.  If this list wasn't alphabetical you all would be at the top.  I love every one of you.

Q  Quilts - My mom just got excited when she read that.  But sadly for her, I wrote quilts, not quilting.  You see, my mom is a quilter and I love the beautiful works of art she makes for my family.  Maybe someday it will say quilting, Mom.  But not today.

R  Red Tano handbag - I'm grateful that it is beautifully crafted and just the perfect style and color, but my favorite part is that my husband picked it out for me when he was on a business trip in NYC.  Awww, what a guy!

S  Son - He is my angel.

T  Triple Thanks - Trader Joes.  TiVo.  Tea (lots of ice, no sweetener and a slice of lemon.)

U  U2 - thanks to my friend Wolm for the U2 intro and to my husband for the U2 enthusiasm and education over the years.

V  the View out my kitchen window - so green, cool and comforting.

W  Wedding in the UK - thank you Sonja and Dan for the opportunity to be part of such a warm and wonderful event!  It was the trip of a lifetime.

X  XoXo - kisses from my kiddos.

Y  Yoga - even though it has been way too long since I've practiced... it really changed my life when I did.

Z  Zoom, zoom, zoom - LOVE my Mazda.  So zippy, easy and fun.  I want the CX-9 next!  Whoops, that isn't gratitude.  Well, I AM grateful for my current Mazda even as I covet my next one.  Heh, heh, heh.

Favorite Photo Friday

I haven't taken any photos this week.  I have been in Montana trying to be helpful to my mom and dad because my dad had a stroke a week and a half ago.  So this Friday, I'm featuring a favorite photo I took last fall when my dad took Jeeper fishing.  My dad is showing improvement everyday and I look forward to a not-too-distant day when he can return to his favorite hobby!   I love you, Papa.

I Don't Like This Sandwich

In the middle of this weekend's usual events -- dishes, bedtime routines, a trip to the store -- and extraordinary events -- homemade raspberry pancakes, our 10th wedding anniversary, an afternoon to myself -- I received a call that my dad had been admitted to the hospital and appears to have had a stroke.  Diaper changes and meal preparations were suddenly interrupted by frequent phone calls, sobbing fits and internet searches for flight schedules to Montana.  His condition is stable enough that the testing that will give insight into what happened has to wait for the holiday to pass.  So I am on hold.  And in limbo. Sandwiched between worrying about my dad and working with my kids.  I pick up CeCe's stack of blocks and at the same time I fall apart at the thought of my dad struggling to communicate.  My dad!  One of the most talkative, verbal and opinionated people I know.  I sit and sound out words with Jeep and I get a lump in my throat because, in his current state, my dad can't remember how to read.  My dad!  The one who taught me to love reading with his example of devouring book, after book, after book.

As a parent myself, I don't have the freedom to give my dad all the attention I want to give him.  I want to be on a plane yesterday.  I want to be at the hospital asking questions, holding his hand and making sure my mom gets time off to rest and eat.  But who will look after our kids while I take care of my dad?  Do I take one or both or none with me?  What favors do we call in from friends and neighbors and when?  How can we choose between the plane tickets and preschool tuition?  How do we make responsible financial decisions for our family -- our whole family?  There isn't a guidebook or one clear black and white answer right now.  And so I pray for the strength to make the best decision I can -- for my kids, my husband, my self, and especially for my dad.

Happy Hill, Golf Guys & Bubble Bub

A few days ago we took a four day road trip vacation with Jeeper's Grandma and Grandpa. I learned a few things, good and bad, about car travels with a toddler. Next time we take Jeep on vacation I plan to be a little more careful about coordinating travel and naptime, for example. But I had to share these three highlights of the long weekend:

After Jeep started getting restless at a restaurant, he and Daddy wandered outside and found a little hill and Jeeper went crazy rolling down. I couldn't believe how many times he would roll down and then pop back up, run up the hill and do it again. He laughed and laughed. Such a typical childlike thing to do. Who hasn't rolled down a hill? It was a rite of passage -- a very fun one!

Daddy, Grandpa and Bub played a little putting course the next morning and the Jeeper held on through 12 holes. He concentrated really hard, was super sweaty after they finished and kept repeating his dad's coaching for days: "Back, through!" It was amazing to see him play so hard with the big guys.



Our boy, bubbles and a beautiful view.

Roots

This post was originally posted on Blog Mamas on August 3rd, 2006.

My mom and dad have a big garden and recently my mom emailed me this photo of some radishes they grew. Wow, look at those roots! I can't get them out of my mind. Even worse, I've gotten too philosophical about vegetables since seeing this picture.
To explain, you need to know that my parents don't live in the Seattle area. Actually, my husband and I don't have any relatives in Washington state (well, maybe we have a 3rd-cousin-twice-removed somewhere around) or even in any bordering state. Our immediate families live in Montana, California and Texas and we have extended family primarily in New Mexico and Oklahoma.

I love many aspects of our life here in the Pacific Northwest, but I also have a deep urge to grow roots in one place. That feeling grew stronger after Jeep was born. I've been thinking a lot about what it means to have roots and if that experience is even possible. I've lived in three different parts of the US for 6 years or more and I feel connected to each of those places. I miss unique aspects of each of those locations even while I enjoy living here. Did I grow roots in the past and pull them up when I moved? I'm not sure.

Do I need relatives around to have roots? I know the answer is "not necessarily" because I was very connected to my home town and the people there even though I grew up with no extended family around. I have dear friends, good neighbors, supportive colleagues and a network that deepens daily here in Western Washington. I think I should feel rooted here and often I do. But then I see Jeeper with his grandparents or one of his uncles (or any other family member) and I notice something different. I'm not sure how to explain it. The love of the family seems a tiny bit more accepting and I wish he could be around that love more a little more often.

One more veggie tale might help clarify my muddled thoughts. I bought a bag of sweet Maui onions at Costco because I couldn't resist the price. We don't eat onions much – we use only one or two a year so it was dumb to buy four. When I got home and looked at the bag I felt sad that I don’t have family in the area. Because when it is family, you can stop by and drop off a couple of extra onions. And they will like and love you just the same (even appreciate the gesture) and not think you are strange. I want Jeep to have that "extra onion" type of acceptance in his life.

Some days I threaten to pack all we own and move in with my parents or in-laws. Maybe that closeness would give me instant roots, but it would also come with some significant trade-offs. What helps me the most is to be grateful for this moment. We have the love of our family and we connect through email, phone calls and visits as often as we can manage it. We are blessed with great and growing friendships here in town as well as special friends around the world. This place offers satisfying jobs for my husband and me plus spectacular care for our boy. So while I'm still not sure how to grow roots (or what that means or if it is important), today I am thankful for a rich harvest.