I Think I Can, I Think I Can...

Gratitude Challenge Day 15: Take the time to focus on yourself. Appreciate & give thanks for your unique personality, skills & talents.

My first thought after reading the assignment was "I can't do this today." It wasn't a Terrible Tuesday like I've had before, but it was a blah day and I've been in a blah mood all day. Can't I be grateful for myself another day?! Well, yes. But I think I'll be stronger if I can push aside the blahs and try, try, try to be a little grateful.

So here goes... here are a few things I appreciate about myself:

I think I'm often funny and I'm grateful for my sense of humor.

My writing skills aren't too bad and I've been especially proud of my Memory Monday posts the last two weeks because I sat down and wrote, edited, and published them both in about 40 minutes each.

I grew (with help from my handsome husband) two babies who have turned out to be adorable kids!

Public speaking is something I enjoy and I think I do it well most of the time.

Friends and family are important to me and I work hard to stay in touch, although I'm less consistent now I am a mom.

When I worked (for money) I was an above-average manager. I certainly made mistakes, but I did a good job of communicating with my team and made affirmation and celebration a priority.

Since I've been at home, I've done a lot more baking and I've had mostly positive results.

And a few more things. That I would certainly cover if I were in a job interview. But I'm not.

I'm grateful for me. And I'm grateful for you. And that is enough.  :)

Slower Than Molasses in the Winter

Gratitude Challenge Day 14: It's been two weeks since you started The Gratitude Challenge. Write about how The Challenge has changed your perspective thus far.

I was laughing about how LONG it has taken me to complete 14 days of the The Gratitude Challenge. I was thinking I've been at it almost double the time. Then I went back and determined that I started the challenge on SEPTEMBER 24TH... FIFTY DAYS AGO. Over six weeks ago. Oh dear. That's worse than I thought. Oh well, carry on. I don't think stretching out the gratitude will hurt -- might help even!

Looking back on the last month and a half I can see a shift in perspective. Not wholly grateful (grin), but certainly more grateful and grateful more often.

Grateful for Girlfriends

The Gratitude Challenge Day Thirteen: Pick three friends or family members you see (or talk to - creative license on my part) regularly. View their actions and gestures through a positive lens, assuming their goodness and witnessing their best intentions.

FAIRY*:  You are so dear to me. Thank you for teaching me so much about being a good mom and great friend. Your joy for life is inspirational and hanging out with you always brightens my day. CeCe is so lucky to have you as one of her fabulous "fairy" godmothers!

LAUREN*: Thank you for being a neighbor and friend. I am grateful for the way you help every new family feel welcome. Thanks for hosting a mom's lunch this week! The food was great and it was so lovely to meet and get to know our newest neighbor. Can't believe our nearly twin baby boys are already so big.

JOY*:  We've been friends for a long time and I'm more grateful for you than ever! I know I can call you no matter what I need -- to laugh, cry, or vent. You are always there for me. Thanks for being such an important part of my life. I miss you!

*I didn't use anyone's actual name. 'Cause blog code names are just more fun!

A Life's Work

Gratitude Challenge Day Twelve: Today, make the effort to live life with a positive outlook. Restrain from criticizing the people around you. Dare to see the glass half full. Listen more than you speak. Give freely of yourself. Practice kindness at every opportunity.

Today has been a great day. Really, truly. You can't hear my tone of voice, but I am relaxed, happy and grateful. Most of my day was spent doing housework and mediating sibling rivalry between my two young ones. The weather was cold, grey and rainy. I didn't get out of the house except to run Jeep to preschool and back. CeCe spilled juice all over the table -- and she has a diaper rash. My husband called me at the last minute to tell me he had an after work meeting that he had forgotten to mention. In the middle of my dinner prep I realized I didn't have three of the key ingredients and I had to switch my whole dinner plan. But somehow, miraculously, despite so many little challenges that could have turned my mood sour, I was able to live out today's challenge. Push aside the frustration, impatience or judgment and choose to be grateful.

I think today's challenge is truly a whole life's work. But I plan to move forward pursuing a positive outlook more often.

In Your Eyes

Day Eleven of the Gratitude Challenge: Try to see the world through the eyes of a child. Think about the things you take for granted on a daily basis, and then express gratitude for everything down to the basic necessities that sustain your current life.

For the second year in a row, we were invited to attend a Halloween garden party hosted by the parents of one of Jeep's former classmates. The family has an amazing lakefront property with a truly wonderful garden and they do a spectacular job of transforming it into a Halloween wonderland! Thanks in large part to the Gratitude Challenge, I was able to focus on the joy in the eyes of my children, rather than comparing their lot in life to mine. I don't have a home on the lake or a boat or a nanny or a gardener, but even so I am abundantly blessed. My bountiful basics include:

*Healthy, beautiful, smart, delightful children
*A loving, talented, funny, handsome husband
*A warm home - we even have a garage (so grateful on cold days)
*Two cars that carry us where we need and want to go
*Amazing friends and family members that always support me
*Plenty to eat (maybe even a little too much)
*A faith community that accepts and inspires me
*Natural beauty all around me

At the party on Saturday I especially loved Jeeper's ease as he ran through all the various parts of the Spooky Garden (he assured me it wasn't really spooky at all) and CeCe's absolute delight at the fun food (she thought cheese puffs were divine.) I watched my kids getting great joy out of the simple little things and realized that I can too! Jeep enjoyed every party game and CeCe loved the pretty decorations everywhere. I admired the bountiful vegetable garden (still producing!) and the creative touches, especially the fun wine labels (Ghoul's Blood was delicious.) It was a GREAT afternoon and I can't wait to go back again next year.

Me too! Me too! Me too!

Okay, since all the cool kids are doing it, I am going to attempt NaBloPoMo. Try saying that three times fast. Actually, just try and say it. I still can't. Anyway, I'm hoping it helps me lose two dress sizes, make $5000 per week working at home, and finally finish the damn laundry once and for all. Or at least keep me on track to finish the Tiny Prints Gratitude Challenge by Thanksgiving. Three cheers for NaBloPoMo. Fingers crossed, here I go!

Oh Say Can You See

Gratitude Challenge Day Ten: Pick one of your five senses to focus on. Take note of how many gifts come to you via that single port of entry. Write about this experience.

Usually autumn is my favorite time of year. However this fall hasn't filled me with the usual awe. I don't know if it is because of things that have me down: my family's stress over my dad's stroke, the struggle to live on one income (while trying to remind myself that doing so is a choice), or the ongoing search for meaning without a job title to define me (I still stubbornly refuse to call myself a SAHM - which is a whole other blog post.) Or has this autumn been less appealing because we had such an amazing, sun-filled summer? Probably all of the above.

However, thanks to the Gratitude Challenge, I had a brief appreciation for autumn after I chose to focus on being grateful for the ability to see. As I moved through my day I saw hundreds of things that I felt grateful to see, but then I had the moment. Walking out of the library with CeCe in my arms, the wind blew and we were showered with leaves. It was one of those scenes that stops time. The sun peeked through the clouds and shone on us. In that golden warmth, leaves fell all around us -- yellow and orange and red. So beautiful. CeCe looked at me with her big blue eyes and she grinned her adorable smile. And I felt so, so grateful. For the ability to see well enough to get into my car and drive to the library. Because my sight allows me to read the books I picked up there. For eyes to see the gorgeous fall colors. But most of all, I am grateful that everyday I am able to see my children. What an amazing gift.

If at First You Don't Succeed

Day Nine of the Gratitude Challenge: Enjoy the people around you. Take a moment to appreciate their unique talents, abilities and personalities. I didn't do it perfectly every minute all day, BUT today, more than most days recently, I truly enjoyed my family. Here are some highlights:

CeCe started walking in the last couple of weeks and it is still so freaking cute. Her wobbly toddle -- bowlegged and unsteady -- melted my heart 100 times today. She looks a little like a drunken cowboy but her soft golden hair and big blue eyes make her 100 times cuter than any old coot. She is also suddenly into books and will bring one to me, grin and say "BAH," and then sit still for about 1/3 of the story before she wiggles and fights to get down. When her feet hit the floor she remembers she wants back up into my lap. She is a snuggle and cuddle bug and I adore her sweetness.

Jeeper sang to me a lot today. I L-O-V-E it when he sings just for me. Today not only did he sing two or three songs that he remembered from his preschool, but he stood right in front of me while I sat on the couch and sang me two different "original songs." He sings so sweetly and seriously and from his heart -- the music runs deep for my little guy. I also loved when he and CeCe played together today. He was driving her pink truck while pulling her behind him in her wagon walker. "I'm towing her," he told me matter-of-factly. You can tell by her grin that she thought it was super fun.

When my husband got home from work, he admitted he was feeling a little under the weather. But he spent a long time playing with the kids after dinner -- I especially enjoyed the funny magic tricks! AND he did a lot of vacuuming at my request even though I could tell he really wanted/needed to relax and rest. After the kids were asleep, we were sitting on the couch watching The Office and I was writing an email for an upcoming volunteer event and he played with my hair. He is always so good at saying loving words and showing affection.

The last few days I've been thinking I needed to get together with friends to complete this "enjoy the people around you" exercise. But today, just an average Thursday, proved that there is great joy right under my own roof.

Gratitude Schmatitude Part 2

Okay. So the Tiny Prints Gratitude Challenge is kicking my behind. Not only because writing something everyday is hard, but ALSO because most of the assignments are truly challenging (hmmm... maybe that is how they came up with the name) if I do them honestly. So honestly, some days I'm NOT very grateful.

Last week I got stuck on Day Nine: Enjoy the people around you. Take a moment to appreciate their unique talents, abilities and personalities. I was all geared up to complete the assignment at my god-daughter's birthday dinner. I was even going to take my camera and capture every grateful moment on film. Then come home and entertain the masses with my witty analysis of these people that I love. But before we left home on Thursday, Bea called to let me know her husband felt like he had the flu... and in the midst of swine-flu paranoia, we decided not to to go to the party. Boo. Oh well, I decided I would delay the assignment one day and appreciate my friend Polly and her new baby on Friday. But then she sent a text that they were sick too! Grr. How am I supposed to enjoy the people around me if I don't get to be around anyone?! (Lovely how I've made it all about me, heh.)

I know I could have, probably should have, spent time being grateful for my two angel kiddos and my handsome, loving husband. But instead, I've let myself be a grump and I've focused on my frustration about not being able to be with my friends. So today, I'm completing the assignment for Day Nine Point Five: Give yourself a break and then get over your grumpy self. Seriously.


PS - I "borrowed" the above photo of the adorable, yet grumpy carrot, from bbk bags on etsy. Check out her super cute handbags! She is very talented and she has the best birthday ever.

Back In the Saddle

Okay, so obviously I fell off the Gratitude Challenge wagon. Or I got on the wagon. Whichever one means I wasn't doing it - that metaphor always throws me for a loop. Anyway, while I have been trying to be grateful everyday, I wasn't keeping up with the assignments on the 21-day calendar. But now I'm BACK! I know you missed me.

Day Eight: Send thank you notes to five people who deserve a little recognition. I did it! Well, two notes still need address details, but all five thank you notes are written, stamped and will be mailed tomorrow. As always, I was blessed by writing the notes more than any of the recipients could be. If it weren't the middle of the night and my hand wasn't already cramping, I could easily write five more. So thank you Tiny Prints. For such a lovely idea. AND for not suing me for borrowing the lovely thank you note image in today's post.  :) Good night!

Purple Mountain Majesties

Day Seven of the Gratitude Challenge: Take a picture of one thing, person, place or specific moment that makes you feel grateful. Share it with your social network.

I worked all day today at a fun event called The Kids Sale. And while there was much to be grateful for during my day, I was too busy to take any photos. So I am posting a photo from a few days ago -- one that my father-in-law snapped while he, my mother-in-law, husband, Jeeper and CeCe were visiting a local farm for Harvest Days. (I stayed at home and sorted through hundreds of items to prepare for The Kids Sale - grin.) This photo reflects just a tiny slice of the beauty of the Pacific Northwest. I love that by driving a few miles we can get to the countryside OR to the beach and that either place has a stunning mountain view. I am grateful to live in such a lovely region of the world!

365 Days

Gratitude Challenge Day Six: Take a few minutes to call someone you haven't talked to in a while. Tell them how much you appreciate them.

Today's assignment should have been the easiest one of the whole 21 days. When we were young, my older brother would tease me that when our family went camping I would probably die because I wouldn't be able to talk on the phone. I used to spend hours on the phone as a teen -- truthfully, my monthly cell phone usage report shows that I still do. But as the day ticked on, I ran into a problem. See, ever since my dad's stroke I have talked on the phone a LOT! Even more than usual and to many, many friends and family members. And yet I wanted to call and thank someone who is really special to me. Someone I hadn't talked to in a while. And then it came to me. Today is September 30th. One year ago exactly was my last day of "paid work." And my department threw a beautiful good-bye party for me. So I called my former boss and told him that while I was enjoying this season of being an at-home parent, I still am grateful for him. Glad for the adventures we had working together. Thankful for his care for me as a person and a friend. Appreciative of his vision and leadership. And still feeling honored by the lovely reception, heartfelt words and thoughtful gifts that he and my team gave to me. After we hung up, I realized that while I hope he felt appreciated because of my call, I was the one who truly benefited because making the call brought to mind so many great memories. Maybe it wasn't exactly the easiest assignment of the whole challenge, but it was the one I've enjoyed the most.

Freewrite... Go!

Day Five of the Gratitude Challenge: Take five minutes to write about how grateful you are for all of the wonderful things that you currently have in your life. Don't long for what you don't possess -- instead, take stock of all the blessings you already enjoy.

I was crawling into bed when I remembered the Gratitude Challenge. Whoops. So I'm going to set the timer and make a list of wonderful things just as they come to mind. Ready... set...WRITE!

Beautiful healthy kids, giggles from CeCe, Jeeper reading TO me, my cozy home on a cool fall day, crisp grapes, an encouraging phone call from my mom with sweet little stories of my dad's continued progress, homemade brownies, brothers who stay in touch and who say "I love you," the forested park at the end of our street, a husband who stops and rubs my shoulders almost every time he walks by my chair, a little garden that is still producing tomatoes, trustworthy neighbors, a great Montessori preschool within walking distance of our house, amazing friends in my life, plenty of tea in the cupboard, a haircut (finally!), the most beautiful summer EVER that is now turning into a gorgeous autumn, our cat (even though I don't act like it), sunglasses and my pillow.

Good night!

When Life Gives You Lemons

Gratitude Challenge Day Four: Write a short message of thanks for some of the "negative" things in your life.

Dear First Job,

I used to cry every morning on my commute to work. I had dreamed of a long-term relationship with you, but that was before I knew about your back-stabbing colleagues, passive-aggressive supervisor and the micro-management of my day. I began to doubt my self-worth and you nearly broke my spirit. Fortunately, I was able to find a new job behind your back. My next job was so much better for me and soon I realized that I had loads of abilities and contributions -- you were the unhealthy one. I even felt a little sorry for you when I heard that two co-workers left you soon after I did. You didn't know a great thing when you had it! One of those co-workers is still one of my dearest friends. We shared the suffering you doled out and it forged an unshakable friendship. I am so thankful to have her in my life, so despite everything else, I am grateful for you.

Regards,

Sunni

Dear Painful, Humiliating Church Experience,

When you hurt my family, I wasn't sure I would live beyond the trauma, but I quickly realized that God was with me all along. Despite the way "God's people" behaved, I felt the presence, peace and comfort of the Creator. The injury caused me to question the religion I had trusted since birth and shoved me (against my will at first) into a fellowship of spiritual seekers much bigger and broader than I had ever imagined. Looking back, I am truly grateful to have come through the fire of fundamentalist rejection into the glory of God's transforming grace. So, humbly, I say thank you.

Sincerely,

Sunni

Ere I Forget All the Joy

Day Three of the Gratitude Challenge: Write about something you feel grateful for in your life today.

I'm home from a wonderful dinner out and trying to quickly finish my gratitude update and get into bed. Today I am grateful for:

my husband
his parents
our wonderful babysitter
red wine, steak salad and creme brulee (yum!)

I've been humming a song all day and it feels like the soundtrack for this post. It is a folk song that I learned from my dad called "Today" that was originally sung by The New Christy Minstrels. The words seem perfect for this assignment:

"Today while the blossoms still cling to the vine
I'll taste your strawberries, I'll drink your sweet wine
A million tomorrows shall all pass away
Ere I forget all the joy that is mine today."

My Gralphabet

Day Two of the Gratitude Challenge: Use the alphabet as a fun and quick format for making a list of things for which you feel grateful. Share this list through email, a blog post or a Facebook page.

A  The Artisanal Table - a new Pizzeria and Enoteca (Italian Wine Shop) in downtown Bellevue with truly wonderful pizzas and wines.  My new favorite place.

B  Billings - a fine place to grow up.  And filled with many, many friends who are coming alongside my parents as my dad recovers from a stroke.  I am so, so grateful.

C  California Baby Calming Shampoo and Bodywash - makes my darlings smell even more delicious.

D  Daughter - I am thrilled to be Mama to my sweet baby girl.

E  Elsa Peretti - thank you for designing such beautiful jewelry.  Every time I catch a glimpse of the lovely necklace my husband gave to me, I feel like a princess.

F  Foster School of Business - I experienced invigorating work, amazing colleagues and inspirational students during my eight years at UW.  Even now, many of my dearest friends share business school roots. 

G  Grace - God's unmerited favor.

H  Husband - 10 years of marriage to one handsome hunk.

I  In-laws - or "in-loves" as my mom says.  I love the people that marriage added to my family: father-in-law, mother-in-law, three sisters-in-law, and two brothers-in-law.  Dear to me, all.

J  Japan - my first and favorite international experience.

K  Kim - who inspired me to take this challenge. And who has been a bosom buddy for 15 years.

L  Lihue - "the Gateway to Kauai."  We flew into Lihue for our honeymoon 10 years ago and we'll fly into Lihue next spring to spend a week relaxing with some of our favorite friends.  Can't wait!

M  Motorcycle - the one I want to own someday.  Glad for the dream.

N  Nuclear family - both my childhood and my current.  I have lots of love for Papa, Mom and my brothers.  And I adore my hubby, my Jeeper and my CeCe.

O  Orange (but not oranges) - Orange is a long-time favorite color.  So bright and fun.

P  my Pals/Peeps/People - Super grateful for my friends.  If this list wasn't alphabetical you all would be at the top.  I love every one of you.

Q  Quilts - My mom just got excited when she read that.  But sadly for her, I wrote quilts, not quilting.  You see, my mom is a quilter and I love the beautiful works of art she makes for my family.  Maybe someday it will say quilting, Mom.  But not today.

R  Red Tano handbag - I'm grateful that it is beautifully crafted and just the perfect style and color, but my favorite part is that my husband picked it out for me when he was on a business trip in NYC.  Awww, what a guy!

S  Son - He is my angel.

T  Triple Thanks - Trader Joes.  TiVo.  Tea (lots of ice, no sweetener and a slice of lemon.)

U  U2 - thanks to my friend Wolm for the U2 intro and to my husband for the U2 enthusiasm and education over the years.

V  the View out my kitchen window - so green, cool and comforting.

W  Wedding in the UK - thank you Sonja and Dan for the opportunity to be part of such a warm and wonderful event!  It was the trip of a lifetime.

X  XoXo - kisses from my kiddos.

Y  Yoga - even though it has been way too long since I've practiced... it really changed my life when I did.

Z  Zoom, zoom, zoom - LOVE my Mazda.  So zippy, easy and fun.  I want the CX-9 next!  Whoops, that isn't gratitude.  Well, I AM grateful for my current Mazda even as I covet my next one.  Heh, heh, heh.

Gratitude Schmatitude

Since returning from Montana, I've been "down in the grumps." I called Bea and asked her to meet me at Frost Doughnuts thinking maybe a bacon maple bar would get out of my funk. We are going tomorrow so I'll let you know.  In the meantime I went to see my therapist and we discussed my dad's stroke, my mom's stress, my kid's whining and my disappointment over not being selected as a Verity Mom finalist.  Her recommendation?  Keep up with "self-care."  Umm, oooh-kay.  Easier said than done when you are a busy mom of little ones.  Does a really delicious gourmet doughnut count?  

So, I made plans for my husband and in-laws to give me some time off this weekend, found a babysitter for a grown-ups only dinner on Sunday and scheduled a massage for a week from now.  Still felt grumpy.  Called Moe, our angelic mother's helper and she came over and played with the little ones for a while.  She even picked up all the toys while she was here.  I was beginning to feel a little better.  Met my husband at the door and told him HE was taking the kids to dinner.  Hmm... this self-care business just might work!  I feel less grumpy already.  

A bowl of cold cereal and a half-hour of peace and quiet later, I found the final piece in my grump-banishment plan.  The Tiny Prints Gratitude Challenge.  I learned about it from my friend Kim, over at gratitude365.  She had already started the 21-day challenge and I felt encouraged when I read her posts.  And not only because I am included on one of her gratitude lists.  So I'm going to do it.  And today is my day #1.  The assignment for the first day is to write about why I accepted this challenge and what I hope to achieve.

I accepted this challenge because most of my thoughts today are about why I am NOT grateful:  There are dirty dishes in the sink.  A friend's father passed away yesterday after a long fight with cancer.  The kids broke our laptop this morning.  I could go ON and ON.  But it isn't helping to make a list of what stinks.  I need to shift my perspective.  I know there are hundreds of things that I can celebrate right now, even though it feels like an effort to come up with a list.  Thankfully, I don't need to make a list until tomorrow's assignment!  And what I hope to achieve is the strength to choose grateful.  Maybe not every single time, but more of the time and even when times are rough. I know the benefits will be worth the challenge.